Many airline passengers are rebelling at the alternatives that have been presented to them by the Transport Safety Administration. Either they have to undergo a full body scan which yields an image oddly detailed, or submit to body search (similar to the one being undergone by actress Kate Beckinscale, left.). Certainly each has its icky aspects, but there are steps that can be taken to make passengers more amenable to the process.
Dimmer lighting in the checkpoint area.
Offer passengers a glass of chardonnay as they pass through line.
Pipe in a selection of Johnny Mathis records.
Help the passengers feel more at ease by complimenting them: The TSA agent might say “Your carry one suitcase really brings out the color in your eyes,” for example.
Stop using terms like “pat down” or “body search.” Refer to the procedure as “a security massage.”
Instruct the agents in the use of scented oils.
Allow those passengers who are so inclined to give their TSA agents “security massages” as well.
Agents could slip dollar bills into waistbands of travelers’ briefs.