On the one hand, the Daily Mail reports that the Education Secretary of the UK says that classic literature is dying out in schools. Michael Gove says that “barely one in 100 studied books published before 1900.” The article says that only 1,236 of the 300,000 pupils who took the most popular English literature exam last year studied Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, just 285 read Thomas Hardy’s Far from the Madding Crowd, and only 187 read Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights. (And this in a place where so much of the economy depends on historical tourism! It’s as horrifying as saying that the vast majority of students in Orlando cannot name the Seven Dwarves!) The article says that “More than 60 per cent of exam papers were based on three books alone – John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men, William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, and Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. (Two out of three by Yanks!) Says Gove: “We’re not picking up enough new books, not getting through the classics, not widening our horizons. In short, we’re just not reading enough.’’ Gove did say he was “impressed by the expectations to read placed on poor school children when he visited the Infinity primary school in Harlem, whre students are challenged to read 50 books a year.”
On the other hand, Canadian novelist Margaret Atwood has released the Appwood for iPhone. According to the press release, the Appwood “allows iPhones to convert humdrum text messages, tweets, e-mails, and Facebook updates into something that sounds as though they have come from the keyboard of the literary master herself.” Speaking to Quill & Quire, a Canadian literary magazine, Atwood said she got the idea “after being consistently dismayed by what she calls the `debased quality of online rhetoric.’ The Web, she says, has much potential for `rich dialogue and new forms of emotional grammar,’ but from what she has seen so far, it is a `potential Prospero that mumbles and barks like Caliban for lack of time and patience.’
Some examples:
Without Appwood: “WTF? Boming Lybya? That’s CRZ”
With Appwood: “War is what happens when language fails”
Without: “Ppl need to chill.. Therez 2 much gunz and killing”
With Appwood: “An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness”
Without: “Tell yr boss to 2 STFU LOL”
With Appwood: “This above all: refuse to be a victim <>”
“The app, available for download from Atwood’s website, currently costs $9.99, but is offered free to users who have recently purchased one of her books. The Year of the Flood buyers, furthermore, are entitled to a free upgrade that will automatically sign their names to online petitions by The Writers’ Union of Canada and Ducks Unlimited.”
Fascinating, but of course, this is April Fool’s Day.