I’ll leave it to my friends in Philadelphia to decide how warmly to embrace Michael Vick; the spirit of forgiveness has never really been the City of Brotherly Love’s style, but if it’s worth a couple of touchdowns, I’m sure Iggle fans can learn to be warm and fuzzy. I am more impressed by the generosity displayed by ABC and the producers of Dancing with the Stars, who are allowing the disgraced and disgraceful former House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, to participate in its spangly, spandexed dance competition. Of course, DeLay has already won a far different competition: without having ever been convicted of a crime, he has achieved the distinction of being the most odious political personage of his era, a malign and corrupting influence of historical proportions.
As Majority Leader, the beady-eyed DeLay found loopholes in the legislative process and turned them into thoroughfares, took seldom-used tricks and made them common tactics. DeLay brought lobbyists into his office to write legislation, which seems rather like a surgeon allowing a scaple salesman to perform an operation. He filled conference committees with loyalists who packed bills with pork and industry pleasing amendments; in 2004, conference committees stuffed 3,407 bits of pork barrel legislation into the federal budget, while in 1994, the last previous year Democrats controlled the House, 47 projects were added. DeLay also nakedly trafficked in fundraising and political favors, like the time he offered he tried to bribe Rep. Nick Smith (R-Mich.) to vote a certain way in exchange for a $100,000 payment to Smith’s son’s campaign committee. And if all that isn’t enough, he manipulated with US officials and colluded with clothing manufacturers to set up unregulated sweatshops in the Marianas Islands, which, being a U.S. protectorate, enjoys American trade protection but is not subject to American regulations. Workers labor there in virtual servitude.
All these things he invested with a thuggish and bullying attitude that constantly reminded observers that here was a man whose career before politics was that of a pest exterminator. But please, don’t just take my word for it. Find yourself a copy of The Hammer: Tom DeLay: God, Money, and United States Congress by Lou Dubose and Jan Reid, which was published in 2004. Dubose and Reid establish beyond doubt that DeLay was the model of the modern martinet who strove to eliminate all checks on his power. Thank goodness he finally overplayed his hand, and under the cloud of indictment, relinquished the leadership, and eventually left the House.
Watch out, Dancing with the Stars. I don’t know how you can cheat at the Paso Doble, but expect the worst.