On thenation.com, we wonder: how well do you remember the year to come?
1. 2010’s highest-rated TV program was:
A. The Apprentice Gets a Shot at Love, in which the member of a talk show’s production staff vie to be selected as the host’s mistress.
B. American Death Panel, in which judges Simon Cowell, Michelle Bachmann, and Dr. Conrad Murray audition ailing contestants competing for the right to extend their treatment.
C. The Balloonies, a television show in which families who have been on television compete to come up with stunts that will get covered on television in hopes of getting them back on television.
2. The highest-grossing touring attraction of 2010 was:
A. Paint the Ice Rouge: The Sarah Palin Skating Experience.
B. Tango Appalachia, the Tony-winning musical about a lonesome governor and his romance with a woman hot from Buenos Aires.
C. The Budweiser Rockin’ Beer Summit Concert Series, featuring Weezer, Daughtry, Pat Buchanan and Cornel West.
3. The year’s most-talked about news from the Supreme Court was:
A.The landmark free speech decision that allows Kanye West to shout loudly in a crowded theater.
B. When the Commerce Clause ruled to uphold the right of the Google to do, quote, “whatever”.
C. Sonia Sotomayor‘s resignation. An anonymous source quoted her as saying, “If I’d wanted to sit in a room with conservative white men all day, I’d just go back to Princeton. Or Yale.”
4. The year’s top-selling National Enquirer cover was headlined:
A. Miley: Billy Ray Made Me Sell My Soul to Disney (Exclusive Contract Photos Inside!)
B. Ashton: Demi Left Me For Patrick’s Ghost!
C. Finally, an American: Brad and Angelina to Adopt Jen!
5. The most disappointing celebrity memoir was:
A. Wait, I’m Supposed to Be More Famous By Now, by Carrie Prejean
B. Second Wind: Making the Most Out of Retirement, by Brett Favre
C. “You Lie!”, And Other Great Stuff I’m Known For, by Joe Wilson
6. The year’s most embarrassing scandal was:
A. Captain Chesley Sullenberger tweets photos of himself rescuing a baby panda from drowning, later admits they were Photoshopped.
B. Wired editor Chris Andersen, author of Free: The Future of a Radical Price, caught at Borders removing “Sale” sticker from his own books.
C. Birther investigation reveals Lou Dobbs originally born in Guatemala.
7. The top sports story of 2010:
A. Soccer roughneck Elizabeth Lambert leaves University of New Mexico, becomes headliner in the WWE.
B. Hoping to capture some of the Kate Hudson magic, the Mets sign Tara Reid to a three year deal to serve as the team’s utility good luck charm.
C. Tiger Woods returns to golf and wins The Masters, but grows surly when faced with reporters’ questions about “playing all 72 holes” and “maintaining his stroke on the back nine.”
8. The summer movie box office champion was
A. Prime Crime, the horror/thriller about a once popular late night talk show host who gets shunted into prime time and wreaks his vengeance by killing the entire network.
B. Twitterformers, Michael Bay‘s 144-character masterpiece that lasted three-hours and took $225 million to make.
C. The Gate Crashers, the comedy about a ditsy blonde and her bumbling escort who crash a state dinner but end up joining the cabinet after brokering a deal to get the president’s healthcare reform bill passed.
9. The most popular iPhone app was:
A. Humidity Report, which tells you the dew point, barometric pressure, and when Glenn Beck is about to cry.
B. Goldslice, which tells you how much of any transaction would end up as part of a Goldman Sachs’ banker’s bonus.
C. Google Hookup, the new service that tracks who has ever slept with whom.
10. The public’s favorite new Federal initiative is:
A. Cash for Freeloaders, in which no-longer productive family members can be traded-in for hard-working, appreciative, apparently legal immigrants
B. The deficit-conscious second phases of the Stimulus/Healthcare Reform Programs, in which every American received a tube of lip balm and three free iTune downloads
C. Sin-o-mite! Bilingual translation of street signs, government forms and financial documents into Chinese eased America’s return to colonial status.