Last week I had the pleasure of meeting Will Leitch, erstwhile prime mover of the very funny and wildly popular Deadspin blog, once and eternally the target of Buzz Bissinger‘s bizarre and overbearing anti-sports blog blast on Bob Costas‘s HBO show, and now Contributing Editor to New York magazine, where he lends his elegant stylings mostly but not exclusively to sports topics. We talked at the blonde piney and micro beery Downtown Bar and Grill on Court Street in beautifully gentrified Bourem Hill, which looks vastly more prosperous since I last stomped its sidewalks some decades ago. A very pleasant afternoon indeed.

Writing in the Washington Post last week, Robert Kagan argues that for all the emphasis we’re placing on new challenges in the year, much of our work will involve well-established ideas. Among them: “Military force matters: At a time when all we hear about is “soft” and “smart” power, it is ironic that some of the toughest challenges in the coming year will be about old-fashioned hard, dumb military power. Will Israel use force against Iran? Will the United States? Will Washington and its allies end up playing a role in Syria to protect civilians as they did in Libya? Similar questions exist for Asia. . . .Conventional wisdom now puts too much weight on “soft” power. We should not overestimate how much the world loves us because of our virtues, nor underestimate how much our influence still depends on hard power and our ability to provide protection in a pinch.”

My problem in understanding whether Kagan’s advice is right or wrong is the same problem I have in reacting to the Pentagon’s recalibration of America’s strategic vision of the the future: I just don’t understand anymore what America gets for its military expenditures. I literally do not know. What does China do or not do because we have a powerful military? What does Russia do or not do? What does any country do or not do? What does our vast arsenal of nuclear weapons obtain for us that would not otherwsise come our way? And what can we reasonably expect our military might to accomplish?

There was a time when ordinary Americans were given explanations for military expenditures. We had to protect against Soviet tanks coming through the Fulda Gap. We had to defend ourselves against ICMB strikes. We had to resist communist expansion throughout the world. We could not allow the Soviets to place missiles in Cuba. Whether these explanations were bogus or not, exaggerated or not, explanations were made.

I don’t know what we ought to be concerned with right now. Ethiopian pirates? Crazy North Koreans? A nuclear Iran that wants to do what? Whatever the threat is, how does having a million men at arms address it.

I would love to hear our government talk about the threats they envision that will be addressed by arms. Where do they think we might engage China? Do they think we’re going to have to invade Iran? What do our guarantees to Israel require us to do, and do these guarantees give us any sway over the Israeli government’s policies? Are we still vulnerable to realistic threats of terror from Islamic fundamentalists, and what percentage of our forces is devoted to fighting those threats?

Absent these explanations, what it seems is that we’re past a lot of Cold War era threats, and that we don’t have very many current threats that justify our present levels of spending, but that we don’t know what might be coming, so we need to stay strong. The problem with that notion is that while it may seem prudent, the reality is that if you have an army sitting around, people start thinking of ways to use it, and before long, you’re in Iraq. It’s good that the president wants to cut eight percent of the Pentagon budget, but I’d like him to explain why he thinks he needs the other 92 percent.

Simon Doonan had a wonderful article in Slate last week about his experience designing the installation for the auction of Marilyn Monroe‘s effects for Christie’s in 1999. Doonan says the process of cataloging her belongings took months, but “Right away, I discovered that Marilyn was shockingly and unimaginably slender. She was sort of like Kate Moss but fleshier on top. Didn’t see that coming, did you? When it came to finding mannequins to fit her dresses, I simply couldn’t. M.M.’s drag was too small for the average window dummy.” Doonan says he developed alternate ways to show Monroe’s famous dresses, with the lone exception of the famous Jean Louis number Marilyn wore for JFK’s birthday, for which a custom Lucite mannequin was made. Says Doonan, “When you look at Marilyn on-screen and . . .realize that the busty, ample gal brimming over Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot is literally one-third your size, you have every right to become suicidal.”

Doonan’s second great observation was that Monroe was not materialistic. “Marilyn Monroe. . .owned diddly-squat. . . . There were no Renoirs or Picassos. Her knickknacks were pedestrian. Her cookware was greasy. Her spatulas were bent. Even her Golden Globe was broken. The majority of her clothing showed surprising wear and tear. She had worn it all repeatedly and there just wasn’t that much of it. Her jewelry? With the exception of her DiMaggio wedding ring it was a bunch of paste danglers and costume crap. Shoes? Yes, there were several pairs of black suede Ferragamo stilettos with worn heels. But Marilyn—brace yourself for another shocker—was more into books than shoes. Her poignant desire to cultivate her mind and give herself an education resulted in an extensive library of first editions.”

I love that!

In one of those bits of harmonic convergence that we used to call coincidence, on the same day I read Doonan’s article, I read that Eve Arnold had died. The brilliant photographer had created many stunning images of celebrities and nobodies alike, but she was perhaps best known for her pictures of Monroe. You can see why.

Going into the weekend, smart money was saying that Mitt Romney would be ecstatic if he emerged from the Tuesday Iowa caucuses with a strong second or even third place in a dead heat finish, and would be over the moon if he won. Somehow, even after eking out an eight-vote win over Rick Santorum last night (30,015 votes to 30,007), I don’t think Romney should feel so glad. He won 25% of the vote. It’s the same 25% he won four years ago, when he was better positioned as the true conservative in the race. This is the same 25% he has had all year. The man has shown no growth. People have had a good long look at him, and month by month, they have entertained infatuations with one alternative after another, most of them manifestly limited candidates, all in an effort to avoid supporting him. (As further proof, turnout was about half what it was in 2008.) Santorum may prove to be a resilient competitor, but he’s going to have to show me that he wasn’t just the latest man standing, someone most people never took seriously until it was either him or Romney, and time ran out before his bubble burst. Romney’s strategy seems to be that of the long distance runner, the one who things he’ll win the race if he happens to be the last man in the competition. The Republicans are relying heavily on their united hatred of Barack Obama, but I don’t really think that going to be enough if only 25 percent of them have any enthusiasm for Romney. Any Democrat who remembers 1968 or 1972 or 1980 knows that story. I’m still waiting for another shoe to drop.

News we could use later this year:

STEVE’S LAST GIFT!
Jobs’ Final Invention Solves Nation’s Unemployment Crisis!
New iJobs Device Pays People to Sit and Twiddle Their Thumbs!

SLUGFEST!
Ex-Comedian Sinbad Latest to Grab Lead for Republican Nomination
Overtakes Garth, the Capital One Viking;
Romney Holds Steady at 25%

IT’S A MOCKERY!
Kim Kardashian Denounces Sinead O’Connor’s Short-Lived Marriage
“Nobody Tanks Faster Than Me,’’ Celebrity Narcissist Vows;
New Fiance To Be Introduced; Said to Be a Fruit Fly

EXPOSED!
Celebrity Phone Hackers Claim New Victim
Rupert Murdoch’s Cellphone Tapped;
Revealing Pix Show Mogul Dispensing Power in the Nude

INSOLVENCY SOLVED!
Greece Is Back in the Black!
Tourism Leaps After Nation Is Reinvented as a Theme Park
Devoted to John Travolta-Olivia Newton-John Musical;
“Shut Up About the Spelling!’’ Says Finance Minister

DESPOT DEFICIT!
Middle East Running Out of Dictators!
Around the Globe, Out-of-Work Strongmen, Warlords and Kommissars
Updating Resumes, Seek to Fill Openings


WHY TWEET WHEN YOU CAN TWEIN?
Former Congressman Heads New Instant Messaging System
“It’s Going to Be Big!’’ Says Weiner

EXTREME WEATHER FORCES VAST POWER OUTAGES!
Residents Forced to “Talk’’ To One Another;
“Conversations’’ Reported;
Senior Centers Raided for Instructors;
“One Starts, Then You Take Turns Speaking’’

CONGRESSIONAL LOGJAM SMASHED!
Stimulus Bill, Deficit Reduction Agreements Pass
“Funny’’ Brownies Distributed Before Session
Pelosi Teaches Boehner How to Tie-Dye
Eric Cantor Wears Flowers in His Hair

The peerless Ronald Searle has died in his sleep in France at the age of 91. Best known for a manically gothic style that invigorated his illustrations of the frantically anarchic schoolgirls of St. Trinian’s, the grinning, lustful oenophiles in The Illustrated Winespeak, the Molesworth series, The Rake’s Progress, The Adventures of Baron Muchausen, and his prolific magazine work, Searle’s subjects always seemed to be on the verge of exploding off the page. It was, in a phrase, a lively and comic style, which seems somewhat ironic, given that during World War II, Searle spent three years suffering as a prisoner of the Japanese Imperial Army. Captured during the fall of Singapore in 1942, Searle was among 3270 men selected to work on the Burma-Siam railway, the experience which provided the real-life basis for TheBridge on the River Kwai. “My friends and I, we all signed up together,” he told an interviewer. “We had grown up together, we went to school together … Basically all the people we loved and knew and grew up with simply became fertiliser for the nearest bamboo.” Underfed and undernourished, suffering from tropical diseases and other infections, and subjected to harsh labor and sadistic brutality, Searle not only survived, but he bore witness to the horrific experience with a group
of sketches of his comrades and captors. The miracle is that both the artist and his works survived; the double miracle is that the artist managed to return with a joie de vivre and a comic zest that constituted a triumph of his spirit. I would like to have known him.

As has become our custom, here is a wholly individual, utterly personal, completely idiosyncratic list of the top 11 whatevers of 2011.

11. THE MIDNIGHT RAMBLE
On a freezing night last winter, a group of us took a limo to Woodstock to see the great Levon Helm and his amazing band in concert in Levon’s home/recording studio. I loved every minute of it. Well, okay, after a while the wooden benches proved more enduring than my ass, but that’s all right; for much of the time, I was actually on my feet, doing an old white man’s version of dancing. The music was great, the vibe was relaxed and fun, and if I am called to my eternal rest tomorrow, I go knowing that I heard the peerless Levon, backed by twenty-odd other musicians, perform The Weight, and that it was sublime.

10. HURRICANE IRENE
It was no fun being clobbered by a storm (the 1999 Floyd experience was plenty, thanks), but fleeing through this monster bitch of a storm, and being sheltered by the Schmidts were memorable experiences. A long fall of recovery featuring Italian plumbers, an Irish mason, a Brazilian carpenter, and Central American laborers became the ongoing (and as yet unended) theme of the year’s last third.

9. WAR HORSE
The National Theater of Great Britain’s production of this play, adapted by Nick Stafford from the novel by Michael Morpurgo, was simply the most amazing piece of theater I have ever seen. Far better than the film, which had its scenic charms, but not much else.

8. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS
We watched all five seasons of the series this year, and admired every episode. Led by a superb cast fronted by Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, the show did what great fiction does: held up a mirror to life. The show was about an entire community: the rich and the poor, the lucky and the lost, ordinary people facing the ordinary challenges of love and joy and sadness and loneliness. One of the best parts of the show was its unswerving faith in true conservative virtues—in the belief that hard work, loyalty, dedication, honesty and family may not answer all questions, but are the things that will see us through.

7. OCCUPY WALL STREET
Angry, inchoate, long overdue, the ragged remnant of the American left expressed itself. The terrible, terrible shame is that there is no leader who can speaks for that sweet spot where OWS and the heart of the Tea Party overlap—the anti-money element that wants to put an end to special privilege.

6. THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL REVUE
It was the year in which Sarah Palin mangled the story of Paul Revere, Michelle Bachmann showed real chootz-pah in misremembering how the Founders ended slavery, Herman Cain intoned a simple-minded 9-9-9 (don’t forget becky-becky-beckystan), and Rick Perry couldn’t remember three departments of government he aimed to close. Throw in Ron Paul’s extremism, Newt Gingrich’s astonishing bubble, and most of all, Donald Trump’s oozing cynicism, and you have a vintage year. Sadly, the robotically careful Romney seems poised to seize center stage.

5. THE MILESTONE YANKEES
Moving in tandem into the twilights of astonishing careers, two great Yankees achieved notable milestones. After struggling during the first half of the year, Derek Jeter marked his 3000th hit by hitting a home run, the high point of a singular day at the plate in which he went 5-for-5 and had the game-winning hit. Later in the year, the Great Rivera became MLB’s all-time leader in saves, a tribute to his longevity, excellence, and nerve. In an observation that shows just how the obvious can be overlooked, someone remarked how often many stats in baseball are amassed in both wins and losses alike, but all of Rivera’s saves mean wins.

4. AND THE ANNIVERSARY CAME
The Civil War sesquicentennial was very good to me this year: The Disunion series in the Times; the Cliopatria Award; the trip to Williamsburg; the surprise publication of And the War Came; the dream-like panel discussion with Ken Burns and David Blight; covering The Conspirator and interviewing Robert Redford; speaking at the Civil War Forum of Metropolitan New York; and the generous remarks of my friends.

3. ADELE
The British singer with the dominating voice and the luxurious hair might have made this list solely on the basis of the raucous, stomping, furious Rolling in the Deep, but then she revealed the soulful Someone Like You, an all-time great ballad to lost love. It was wonderful to be reminded of the pure pleasure of a powerful pop song.

2. KENTUCKY CARA
Cara’s success has been an enormous sense of pride and happiness for Ginny and me. She did an extraordinary job getting into a good situation, and, so far, making the most of it. We couldn’t be more delighted.
1. THIS MAGIC MOMENT On the last night of March, a rainy, chilly midweek spring evening, I’m sitting in Dad’s old Buick behind Tazza waiting to pick up Cara. As the very last of the light is about to yield to the night, Ginny pulls up in the Toyota and gives me a big smile. There had been a miscommunication: Cara had forgotten that I was coming and called Ginny, who was coming home from work late. No problem–I went a picked up the pizza I had ordered for dinner. And I left with an unaccountable feeling of happiness–a good day’s work accomplished, Cara collected, a warm pizza in our warm living room on a chilly evening, my wife’s smile.

.

The Christmas Eve party was at our house this year, and love and joy came to us, and to our wassail, too. Ginny outdid herself in the kitchen, making a Beef Wellington that disappeared in no time. Bad puns were entertaining, the Giants won, and apart from a malfunctioning flash which gave us far too few photographs with which to mark the event, we had a merry time.